And thus did man create the ultimate weapon of mass destruction, and alien civilisations soared the universe in search for its electromagnetic emissions, in hopes of destroying them all, and preventing future damage to other sentient beings' mental faculties.
Welcome back to Zero no Tsukaima Fail. You won't enjoy your stay. Let's roll.
Do you remember this guy? I bet you don't. Let me remind you he's this sort of ultra-pro grandmaster wizard that has played absolutely no role for the past forever, even while giant armies of doom collided and his untrained students risked their lives in random battlefields.
Dumbledore / Gandalf rip-offs are already cliché as it is, but at least they do something. Like, you know, battling Voldemort, killing demons, slicing Orcs' throats, something.
The joke here is that the animators actually bothered conjuring up non-school-uniform, formal outfits for everyone but the protagonist. You can't even write it off as boredom anymore. Someone's straight-up brain-dead in the production.
This guy has a girlfriend. None of those are her. He's doing all that before the eyes of said girlfriend. His integrity—and intelligence—matches Saito's.
Notice the fine transition from a few hundred innocent people dying to everyone having absent-minded fun.
Here's some nice trivia for you people: do you remember who those are?
I'll spare you the trouble; the twin-tailed blond, flat loli is some sort of official from a foreign country and has some sort of affiliation with the Pope as a major religious figure. She ran around trying to reduce the sodomy level of the magical academy, which, given its record heights, is actually not that bad an idea in and of itself. She became part of Saito's harem at some point.
If you're wondering why she played no role in the past few episodes in hopes of getting some graspable character development, that's probably because the author remembered she existed about as much as you did, by which I mean not at all.
SAITO AND LOUISE DO LE DANCE! AMG! Saito reminisces the last time they danced! They both wore the exact same clothes! Cue pink shiny background and watery eyes! The voice acting of Saito in this scene made me lose my fucking mind!
So. Much. Cliché.
Things get too hot between the Loli and the Mighty Japanese Stallion and they decide to take it to their private quarters. Lord MacBigCock kisses Lady TotallyVirginDesu before the season finale. We're stepping up our game, son!
Mister IHaveAnErection lays Miss ImWetAndItAintRainingOutside on the bed and proceeds to feel her up. Of course the maid is there because there is no concept of privacy in this universe. Louise blows up shit. No one dies or otherwise gets harmed. The love polychoron keeps going. Move on.
Notice Saito's integrity; one moment he's showing his tru lurve for Louise, next moment he wants dem boobiez again.
We have something less than 60 seconds to rejoice as Tabi—I mean—the Rei expy sees her mother regain her sanity. Given how this is pretty much what she tried to do her entire life, the duration of the scene is about as appropriate as me forcefully shoving my cock into an apple pie while my mum's watching.
Saito and Louise decide to go buy a house. I've no idea where the money came from. The maid is brought along for reasons that remain dubious. The maid reveals that our Princess herself has declared her Saito's personal maid. Given how the Princess is supposedly one of Louise's closest childhood friends, it makes perfect sense that she goes out of her way to fuck her up royally.
Because True Friends force your love rivals onto the love of your life.
The inner circle of Saito's harem goes to discuss their polygamous issues with some of Saito's other harem members.
Saito has been made into a theatrical superhero. These are his newest harem members. Notice how it's openly stated that the entire city's females have the hots for Saito. Our protagonist is literally lusted after by every single female to cross his path; even those that haven't crossed his path.
I can't figure out if this is supposed to be an anime or some sort of erodōjinshi launching pad. I really don't.
The Rei expy's mum has regained sanity, and is in perfect condition to announce that an emotionally unstable and otherwise fragile teenage girl that hasn't even finished school yet is the right person to lead a country that waged a war against the Pope by creating weapons of mass destruction and making them explode everywhere.
Saito becomes the feudal lord of a mansion. He and his whore go to visit it. The maid is brought along for no real reason. The mansion is in a pretty nice condition, although it needs some cleaning, but everyone bashes it into nonexistence nonetheless because they know jackshit about mansions.
These guys are supposedly still students, by the way.
The trio manage to clean up a room. The maid somehow decides to sleep with Saito for no real reason. Apparently keeping the love polychoron going is the right thing to do, considering Saito is planning on marrying Louise by the looks of it, and has openly stated she's the only reason he keeps going.
The Rei expy arrives for no real reason, because what else do new Queens have to do than keep love polychora going? Anyway, as the little innocent fragile girl is sleeping, Louise blows shit up. Again.
Manners towards royalty? Too much to ask from Louise. Do note she comes from a noble house, by the way. Just sayin'.
These two arrive for no real reason as per usual. There are no lessons to attend etc.
"Hey, look, our fragile emotionally unstable little friend is under intense pressure given the political shithole she's going to have to fix while seeing the 'love of her life', Don Juan, getting raped and otherwise taken away by random females. Should we do something to help relieve her stress?"
"Nah."
Saito unleashes his Tru Lurve Powahz onto Louise, cue second kiss. We're making serious ecchi progress here! Then he gropes her lack of boobs. Then some sort of cat joke that isn't funny at all.
The Love Polychoron keeps going. This shit totally never gets old. Totally.
Thus arrives Louise's sister and lectures her about nobility. The fact that Saito has received the highest of honours from the fucking leader of her country is of zero relevance, apparently.
Tabitha takes the redhead and the random blond and leave. The stress has been relieved, I suppose? The Love Polychoron thins.
Louise tries to teach Saito some manners, because she's totally an expert at that shit, what with making leaders of countries explode while they're sleeping. Saito and Louise get into a fig—I mean massive bitchfest.
Saito randomly stumbles into a random magical mirror. The Princess randomly stumbles into a random magical mirror. The two random magical mirrors happen to connect the two mansions for totally reasonable reasons. The princess is casually walking around her castle in the sexiest of underwear, and there are no horny guards / corrupt politicians to take advantage of the naïvety of an underage, sexually attractive girl.
FORESHADOWING? WHAT FORESHADOWING?!
Saito shows his integrity by kissing the princess. I've seen this development entire seasons in advance, so I guess that's some sort of foreshadowing, right?
Oh, Saito, you love grandmaster, you. Remember how he showed his unending love to Louise a few scenes ago? Neither do I.
After seeing her best friend ever steal her boyfriend, Louise runs away. This is the first reasonably dramatic development since I started watching this damned thing.
Louise arrives at the academy at about the same time as everyone else, even though she travelled on horseback while everyone else travelled on a dragon, but never mind those details.
The Rei expy casually reminds us that she's into the Love Polychoron too, and that she also happens to lead a country.
SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
Louise makes up with Saito for no real reason.
That is all.
I wanna die now.
Welcome back to Zero no Tsukaima Fail. You won't enjoy your stay. Let's roll.
 |
| LAINBOW PANCAKES, PLEASE SAVE ME! |
Do you remember this guy? I bet you don't. Let me remind you he's this sort of ultra-pro grandmaster wizard that has played absolutely no role for the past forever, even while giant armies of doom collided and his untrained students risked their lives in random battlefields.
Dumbledore / Gandalf rip-offs are already cliché as it is, but at least they do something. Like, you know, battling Voldemort, killing demons, slicing Orcs' throats, something.
The joke here is that the animators actually bothered conjuring up non-school-uniform, formal outfits for everyone but the protagonist. You can't even write it off as boredom anymore. Someone's straight-up brain-dead in the production.
This guy has a girlfriend. None of those are her. He's doing all that before the eyes of said girlfriend. His integrity—and intelligence—matches Saito's.
Notice the fine transition from a few hundred innocent people dying to everyone having absent-minded fun.
Here's some nice trivia for you people: do you remember who those are?
I'll spare you the trouble; the twin-tailed blond, flat loli is some sort of official from a foreign country and has some sort of affiliation with the Pope as a major religious figure. She ran around trying to reduce the sodomy level of the magical academy, which, given its record heights, is actually not that bad an idea in and of itself. She became part of Saito's harem at some point.
If you're wondering why she played no role in the past few episodes in hopes of getting some graspable character development, that's probably because the author remembered she existed about as much as you did, by which I mean not at all.
SAITO AND LOUISE DO LE DANCE! AMG! Saito reminisces the last time they danced! They both wore the exact same clothes! Cue pink shiny background and watery eyes! The voice acting of Saito in this scene made me lose my fucking mind!
So. Much. Cliché.
Things get too hot between the Loli and the Mighty Japanese Stallion and they decide to take it to their private quarters. Lord MacBigCock kisses Lady TotallyVirginDesu before the season finale. We're stepping up our game, son!
Mister IHaveAnErection lays Miss ImWetAndItAintRainingOutside on the bed and proceeds to feel her up. Of course the maid is there because there is no concept of privacy in this universe. Louise blows up shit. No one dies or otherwise gets harmed. The love polychoron keeps going. Move on.
Notice Saito's integrity; one moment he's showing his tru lurve for Louise, next moment he wants dem boobiez again.
We have something less than 60 seconds to rejoice as Tabi—I mean—the Rei expy sees her mother regain her sanity. Given how this is pretty much what she tried to do her entire life, the duration of the scene is about as appropriate as me forcefully shoving my cock into an apple pie while my mum's watching.
Saito and Louise decide to go buy a house. I've no idea where the money came from. The maid is brought along for reasons that remain dubious. The maid reveals that our Princess herself has declared her Saito's personal maid. Given how the Princess is supposedly one of Louise's closest childhood friends, it makes perfect sense that she goes out of her way to fuck her up royally.
Because True Friends force your love rivals onto the love of your life.
The inner circle of Saito's harem goes to discuss their polygamous issues with some of Saito's other harem members.
Saito has been made into a theatrical superhero. These are his newest harem members. Notice how it's openly stated that the entire city's females have the hots for Saito. Our protagonist is literally lusted after by every single female to cross his path; even those that haven't crossed his path.
I can't figure out if this is supposed to be an anime or some sort of erodōjinshi launching pad. I really don't.
The Rei expy's mum has regained sanity, and is in perfect condition to announce that an emotionally unstable and otherwise fragile teenage girl that hasn't even finished school yet is the right person to lead a country that waged a war against the Pope by creating weapons of mass destruction and making them explode everywhere.
Saito becomes the feudal lord of a mansion. He and his whore go to visit it. The maid is brought along for no real reason. The mansion is in a pretty nice condition, although it needs some cleaning, but everyone bashes it into nonexistence nonetheless because they know jackshit about mansions.
These guys are supposedly still students, by the way.
The trio manage to clean up a room. The maid somehow decides to sleep with Saito for no real reason. Apparently keeping the love polychoron going is the right thing to do, considering Saito is planning on marrying Louise by the looks of it, and has openly stated she's the only reason he keeps going.
The Rei expy arrives for no real reason, because what else do new Queens have to do than keep love polychora going? Anyway, as the little innocent fragile girl is sleeping, Louise blows shit up. Again.
Manners towards royalty? Too much to ask from Louise. Do note she comes from a noble house, by the way. Just sayin'.
These two arrive for no real reason as per usual. There are no lessons to attend etc.
"Hey, look, our fragile emotionally unstable little friend is under intense pressure given the political shithole she's going to have to fix while seeing the 'love of her life', Don Juan, getting raped and otherwise taken away by random females. Should we do something to help relieve her stress?"
"Nah."
Saito unleashes his Tru Lurve Powahz onto Louise, cue second kiss. We're making serious ecchi progress here! Then he gropes her lack of boobs. Then some sort of cat joke that isn't funny at all.
The Love Polychoron keeps going. This shit totally never gets old. Totally.
Thus arrives Louise's sister and lectures her about nobility. The fact that Saito has received the highest of honours from the fucking leader of her country is of zero relevance, apparently.
Tabitha takes the redhead and the random blond and leave. The stress has been relieved, I suppose? The Love Polychoron thins.
Louise tries to teach Saito some manners, because she's totally an expert at that shit, what with making leaders of countries explode while they're sleeping. Saito and Louise get into a fig—I mean massive bitchfest.
Saito randomly stumbles into a random magical mirror. The Princess randomly stumbles into a random magical mirror. The two random magical mirrors happen to connect the two mansions for totally reasonable reasons. The princess is casually walking around her castle in the sexiest of underwear, and there are no horny guards / corrupt politicians to take advantage of the naïvety of an underage, sexually attractive girl.
FORESHADOWING? WHAT FORESHADOWING?!
Saito shows his integrity by kissing the princess. I've seen this development entire seasons in advance, so I guess that's some sort of foreshadowing, right?
Oh, Saito, you love grandmaster, you. Remember how he showed his unending love to Louise a few scenes ago? Neither do I.
After seeing her best friend ever steal her boyfriend, Louise runs away. This is the first reasonably dramatic development since I started watching this damned thing.
Louise arrives at the academy at about the same time as everyone else, even though she travelled on horseback while everyone else travelled on a dragon, but never mind those details.
The Rei expy casually reminds us that she's into the Love Polychoron too, and that she also happens to lead a country.
SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
Louise makes up with Saito for no real reason.
That is all.
I wanna die now.
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